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Indian Viruses

The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India. 
  
  Better beware of them. 
  
  P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus: 
  First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before 
  executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times 
  and finally does nothing. 
  
  V.P. Singh Virus: 
  This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them 
  only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used 
  instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. 
  This virus is also known as social justice virus. 
  
  Sukh Ram Virus: 
  This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and
  then executes them. 
  
  Maneka Gandhi Virus: 
  This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were 
  written by vegetarians or animals. 
  
  L.K. Advani Virus: 
  This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can 
  continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times. 
  
  K.P.S. Gill Virus: 
  Only ladies need to worry about this virus.Every now and then the 
  users get a whack, you know where. 
  
  Phoolan Devi Virus: 
  This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page 
  faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU*s 
  birthday. 
  
  Deve Gowda Virus: 
  The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all 
  the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request 
  for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are 
  available or not. 
  
  Jayalalitha Virus: 
  This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus
  family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is 
  totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus 
  blames the user for the whole chaos. 
  
  I.K.Gujral Virus: 
  Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the 
  approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses 
  blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not 
  execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, 
  this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all 
  major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the 
  replies. 
  
  Veerappan virus: 
  This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and 
  releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but 
  suddenly reappears. 
  
  Laloo Yadav virus: 
  A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the 
  data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename
  its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus 
  takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning. 
  
  Mulayam Virus: 
  Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only 
  task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by
  sending conflicting signals to different hardware units. 
  
  Sonia Gandhi Virus: 
  Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can 
  detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people 
  use Bofors scanner for temporary protection. 
  
  Kashi-Maya Virus: 
  It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination 
  amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority 
  resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. 
  Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.