Indian Viruses

The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India. 

  

  Better beware of them. 

  

  P.V. Narasimha Rao Virus: 

  First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before 

  executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times 

  and finally does nothing. 

  

  V.P. Singh Virus: 

  This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them 

  only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used 

  instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions. 

  This virus is also known as social justice virus. 

  

  Sukh Ram Virus: 

  This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and

  then executes them. 

  

  Maneka Gandhi Virus: 

  This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were 

  written by vegetarians or animals. 

  

  L.K. Advani Virus: 

  This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can 

  continue working is by typing Jai Shri Ram 108 times. 

  

  K.P.S. Gill Virus: 

  Only ladies need to worry about this virus.Every now and then the 

  users get a whack, you know where. 

  

  Phoolan Devi Virus: 

  This virus hijacks all high priority processes and generates page 

  faults for them. At times, this virus may also celebrate the CPU*s 

  birthday. 

  

  Deve Gowda Virus: 

  The main characterestic of this virus is that it tries to schedule all 

  the processes at the same time. This virus services all the request 

  for resources,and allocates them irrespective of whether they are 

  available or not. 

  

  Jayalalitha Virus: 

  This actually is a family of viruses. Each member of this virus

  family grab as much of hard disk space as possible,while the main virus is 

  totally unaware of it. When everything stops working,this virus 

  blames the user for the whole chaos. 

  

  I.K.Gujral Virus: 

  Before executing any instruction, this virus calls tries to get the 

  approval of 18 other viruses and most of the time, one of the viruses 

  blocks the instruction. So Gujral virus most of the time does not 

  execute anything. While it is not doing anything, as it is always, 

  this virus connects to the Internet and keeps sending data to all 

  major/minor countries in the World except India w/o receiving the 

  replies. 

  

  Veerappan virus: 

  This virus plays hide and seek. it captures some resources and 

  releases them after sometime. it sometimes seems to be eradicated but 

  suddenly reappears. 

  

  Laloo Yadav virus: 

  A dangerous virus, gulps all the resources as well as it corrupts the 

  data. If you try to use scanner, During hibernation,it will rename

  its signature with another deadly virus of the same family. This virus 

  takes help from other viruses to avoid scanning. 

  

  Mulayam Virus: 

  Whatever way, it will try to grab resources of the system, it's only 

  task is to abort BJP processes. this virus hangs the system by

  sending conflicting signals to different hardware units. 

  

  Sonia Gandhi Virus: 

  Once a part of most deadly virus family of the world. No scanner can 

  detect now, how much damage it can cause to the system, but people 

  use Bofors scanner for temporary protection. 

  

  Kashi-Maya Virus: 

  It's also called the Dalit virus, it destabilizes the co-ordination 

  amongst different resources, It controls & steps the low priority 

  resources from functioning. Lot of scanners available now to kill it. 

  Other viruses are thriving by splitting this virus.